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7 Serious Problems That Had Hilarious Cartoon Solutions

As weird monkeys with too much imagination, we humans generally like some outside-the-box reasoning. Whether it’s a time-saving lifehack or a crazy new potato chip flavor, we’re all about being creative and doing the unexpected. However, when it comes to solving big issues, we tend to be more reserved, carefully weighing options and inducing rational decisions. Not everyone, though. Let us tip our hats to the wonderfully insane people who dreamed up terrifyingly cartoon-like solutions to very serious problems.

7

Guam Targeted An Invasive Snake Species By Dive-Bombing Them With Poisoned Mouse Assassins

Sometime during World War II, a shipment ship arrived in one of Guam’s ports. But unbeknownst to anyone at the time, a host of dark-brown tree snakes had stowed away on the vessel, and it slipped the snakes into the island like a reptilian STD. And while everyone was a bit preoccupied with the ongoing world war, the serpents multiplied. Exponentially.

Pavel Kirillov Exactly what every island paradise necessities: a serpent plague.

Since Guam had not yet been indigenous serpents, this invader from Australia had zero rival for groceries. As a outcome, the brown tree serpent has spent the last half century severely depleting several of Guam’s native species. It wasn’t long before the USDA and EPA reached the same conclusion: The snake had to go. But besides shipping in a trained army of mongooses, poison would be the only solution. But how do you poison an entire species out of individual regions without severely injury the other fauna and flora in the process? Three terms: skydiving mice assassins.

As it turns out, acetaminophen( better known as Tylenol) does more than alleviate ache and lower your fever; it’s a tailor-made poison for snakes. The drug avoids their blood from carrying oxygen, and despite looks a lot like demon spawn from inferno, dark-brown tree serpents require oxygen to live just like the rest of us. When it came to finding a way to deliver the acetaminophen to snakes quick enough that there would still be some fowls left, the person or persons of Guam came up with an ingenious solution: They stuffed the acetaminophen inside dead mice and mailed them parachuting into the treetops.

Peter Savarie/ U.S. Geological Survey Like fuzzy wuzzy Green Berets

The setup is fairly simple. A dead mouse is stuffed with acetaminophen and attached to a small part of cardboard and streamer. This tiny parachute is then dropped from a helicopter and gets mired in the trees. By continuing the mice up in the trees rather than on the forest flooring, scientists are able to get the poison immediately to the tree serpents, who will never realize that their new Amazon mice delivery service is actually a lethal trap.

U.S. Dept. of Agriculture

U.S. Dept. of Agriculture * Play for full impact *

While the teeny paratroopers won’t eradicate the snakes wholly, they have been helpful in keeping the population under control. Authorities are also utilizing snake traps, snake-sniffing bird-dogs, and snake hunters to reduce the number of snakes slipping around the island. Still, we are celebrating the service and sacrifice make use of American’s ittiest troops.

6

The Fastest Way To Clean Up A Beached Whale

Beached whales are one of the saddest sights in the world, and watching is all we can do while these wriggling behemoths die as their lack of legs comes around to kick them in the blowhole. Even today, we still have no idea of why these oceanic titans fling themselves on our beaches. However, we do have a few notions on how to get them off.

Discovery Channel Namely, with the perfect fusion of human ingenuity and human stupidity.

In 1970, an enormous whale carcass washed up near Florence, Oregon. This offered a unique challenge to bureaucrats: How do you get rid of eight tons of rotting whale? Sure, they could have let nature take its course, but nobody was that keen on spending the next few years going to the beach surrounded by vomit-inducing reek and swimming in whale runoff.

Discovery Channel Good luck spinning this into a positive, tourism board.

There was talk of hiding it, burning it, or cutting it up, but ultimately, a far more respectful and elegant solution was offered: shoving dynamite in the corpse’s mouth and blowing it to kingdom come. Engineers figured, “Pieces of blubber[ would] scatter into the sea,[ and] what was left would be cleaned up by seagulls and crabs.” And you know it’s a good programme when you’re counting on crab to do all the heavy lifting for you.

Of course, because the city would be using live explosives on public ground, the event attracted a lot of spectators. Watching a whale explosion was a lot more entertaining than wearing jeans and listening to Led Zeppelin, or whatever it was ‘7 0s folk did for fun. For safety’s sake, spectators were told to stay at least a quarter of a mile away from the blast zone. Regrettably, this turned out to be a drastic underestimation, and everyone and everything within a half mile or so get rained with rank whale.

Discovery Channel Were not taking harmless little flecks of whale, either.

Almost miraculously , no one got hurt by the literal ton of corpse shrapnel that shot through the sky. A piece of blubber the size of a coffee table flattened a car, while people and other vehicles were pelted with smaller bits. “Blubber is so dense that a piece as big as the tip-off of your thumb can be like a bullet and kill you, ” an onsite reporter later admitted, signifying the city did the marine biology equivalent of hurling a grenade into an ammo depot and inviting everyone to come and watch.

But despite the massive detonation, destroyed autoes, and blubber-encrusted bystanders, the bulk of the carcass didn’t even budge. Ultimately, crews buried the remaining clods of whale, an option they are likely should have gone with from the start.

5

Ecologists Fixed The Rainforest With 12,000 Tons Of Orange Peels

Industrial waste tends to have a bad reputation. Many large flowers and mills have a habit of polluting clay and water with disgusting runoff, killing plant life and making fish all matter of unappetizing mutations. However, there is one industry whose trash is achieving the exact opposite, use its detritus to mend the rainforest. We speak, of course, of the orange juice industry.

In 1997, two ecologists entered into an unlikely partnership with Costa Rican OJ manufacturer Del Oro with the intent to kill two fowls with one USFWS-licensed stone. It was the scientists’ theory that the pulp and peels of oranges could help them reforest the barren field of a national park, so they wished to use the company’s squeezed oranges in their experiment. In return, the company had a free and ethical place to dump all of its citrus-y waste.

Daniel Janzen and Winnie Hallwachs It was certainly the best- reeking waist-high agricultural trash dump.

Scientists designated a massive dump zone within the park, an area where the soil was too depleted for the tropical grove to rebound naturally. One thousand truckloads and some 12, 000 metric tons of orange peels later, the result was a rather orange but very pleasant-smelling field.

Daniel Janzen and Winnie Hallwachs If the experiment fails, were at least all set to make a lot of Old Fashioneds.

However, a jealous competitive fruit corporation decided that all this beneficial waste management was standing in the way of something much more important: greed. Ticofrut filed a suit, alleging that the peels had not only “defiled a national park, ” but likewise generated an unjust marketplace advantage for one of its competitors. After a successful smear campaign, the State supreme court ordered the project to be shut down. The ecologists were forced off the ground, and Del Oro had to go back to dumping their garbage elsewhere. But the orange peels remained, and nature became unstoppable.

Tim Treuer Thats the orange-treated side on the right. You know, the part with all the plants.

In 2013, after 15 years of oblivion, a grad student from Princeton stumbled upon the lost orange peel dump as a possible research venue. When researchers eventually arrived at the site, they found it unrecognizable. Compared to untreated control fields, they found the orange peel regions had “Richer soil, more tree biomass, greater tree-species richness, and greater forest canopy closure.” Given the “stunning” difference between the fertilized and unfertilized fields, they are hoping their findings will convince other nations to accept this more “appealing”( sorry) technique of recycling.

4

Relocating Beavers By Falling Them Out Of Airplanes

Back in 1948, Idaho’s Department of Fish and Game had a bit of a beaver trouble. An uneven population had developed throughout the nation, and since beavers live to build dams and route sea like little fuzzy engineers, this meant some areas got too much water while others got too little. Likewise, they actually wanted to build some homes in one heavily beavered field, which entailed it was time to start some ousters. Fortunately, instead of killing them, officials decided on a much more humane alternative: grabbing them, shoving them into containers, and kicking them out of flying planes.

Idaho Fish and Game Department Humans really have a thing for airborne rodent solutions, it seems.

They figured they could set their beaver imbalance by relocating 76 beavers to remote, underpopulated areas, but they hit a bit of a snag. The underpopulated areas in question used to be so rural that they were simply inaccessible by street. They tried getting the beavers there by horse and mule, but it turned out that neither animal was willing to travel the wild with a bunch of bucktoothed maniac strapped to their backs.

Idaho Fish and Game Department They may look like live animals designed by Walt Disney, but dont be fooled. Beavers dont play.

But Idaho Fish and Game had two things no other governmental departments had: a lack of common sense and a surplus of parachutes from World War II. A very smart boy named Elmo Heter designed a special wooden box that would comprise a beaver while it was sailing through the air and then open when it reached the ground.

Idaho Fish and Game Department Otherwise, they’d just be making a bunch of tiny coffins.

3

Numerous Cities Solved Cop Shortages With Cardboard Cutouts

When it comes to following the law, there’s nothing like a siren and flashing lights to induce people behave. That’s why police want to be as visible as possible; their mere existence is enough to send misdemeanour plummeting like it’s been plummeted from a rooftop by Batman. But since police officer can’t be everywhere at once, a number of cities around the world are now fighting crime with the power of cardboard. That’s right, the cop on the corner may in fact be a life-size facsimile.

GeoBeatsNews via YouTube Sure, lots of police need to be braced upright with a big rock.

In Bangalore, India, traffic is so notoriously bad that it’s not unusual for people to up and drive the wrong way. Recognizing that no good will come of this, police now have fake cops posted at three busy intersections. As the police commissioner countries: “The tendency among street consumers is that when they ensure “were not receiving” traffic policemen at any stretching of the road, they try to violate traffic rules.” So now, these cardboard prints of mustachioed Bangalore cops take the thumps nobody is will, staring angrily into traffic and signaling that any wrong-way motorist should become the inferno around .

Meanwhile, in Fife, Scotland, their first Scottish-Arborean police officer has already become a bit of a celebrity. “Pop-up Bob” patrols streets with his radar handgun in an attempt to deter speeding. He moves to a new place every hour, because even cardboard this needs to a change of scenery every now and then.

The Scotsman Though it seems like the bigger story is a small town that would rather prevent hastening than ticket it.

But the most realistic cardboard cop has to be the one guarding a teach station in Boston. That’s because it’s the cardboard twin of a real beat cop, Officer David Silen. Since putting up a cutout of this Transit Police officer, the number of monthly bicycle thefts at Alewife Station has decreased from five to one. It goes to show that even a bit of thick paper with a badge painted on is enough for most punks to ask themselves how lucky they are.

WBZ-TV Bike stealings are down, but sex selfies with the cutout remain a constant issue.

2

The Rural U.S. Rigged A Telephone Network Through Barbed Wire Fences

By the late 1800 s, most people in urban areas could enjoy the magical and convenience of the Bell Telephone system. But while anyone could pick up a telephonic device at their local general store, having access to telephone lines was another story altogether. While the cities were all hooked up, many rural and untamed parts of the country were get fed up with still having to walk 70 miles to chat with a neighbor. Eventually, some enterprising farmers are determined to take topics into their own hands and created an independent telephone network some three million households strong.

How did they do it? Some smartypants realized that while they had no telephone wire, they had plenty of barbed wire to go around — around their battlegrounds, to be specific. Becomes out, all metal wire is pretty much the same for these purposes, and the stuff used to keep people at a distance could also to be maintained connected. To join these networks, all you had to do was buy a phone from Sears Roebuck and clip it to your barrier, as long as you didn’t mind having all your kine listening in on your conversations.

The Daily Herald “Unlimited texting if you add a mailbox.”

The one major difference between the official networks and their barbed wire equivalents was that these pirate networks had no switchboard, so all the phones employed the same line. So when these rural communities get connected, they did so with nothing but a prickling conscience to stop someone from listening in on a neighbor’s calls. Ironic, actually, given that barbed wire tends to be used to get rid of snoopers , not make it easier for them.

1

Paris Unclogged Its Sewers With Giant Balls Of Iron

Have you told your toilet how much you enjoy it today? You should. Toilets are still the spire of human achievement, a vast network of tubes and porcelain keeping homes shit-free. But even these miracles are not without flaws. Whenever a lavatory gets clogged, we curse our diet, grit our teeth, and grab a plunger. But what happens when sewers get backed up? Did old-timey people even have plungers big enough to overcome such barricades of turd?

Atlas Obscura Like many problems of the past, what they lacked in technology, they compensated for with sheer balls.

In the 1850 s, the good people of Paris started cleaning their sewers using a technique that can only be described as “epic.” You recognize, they got these enormous iron balls, 10 -1 5 feet in diameter, and then applied velocity . The balls were lifted and sent lunging through sewer tubes like bowling balls of the gods, clearing any blockages with hasten and ferocity. Called boules de curage or “balls of heroism, ” these turd torpedoes can today be seen in person at the Paris Sewer Museum, which we presume has a less-than-successful gift shop.

Filip Also, its likely the only museum where sightseers dont need to be reminded not to touch anything.

Though the sewers have been modernized in the intervening years, the balls are occasionally taken out of retirement and sent down the gutter for a turd roundup. After all, what sanitation worker wouldn’t jump on the opportunity to play pinball with an entire city?

Tell your toilet how much you really love it with hearts on the toilet paper. Everyone will think it’s adorable and not weird at all .

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