The Gay Bomb: A Real Thing The US Military Considered

In 1994, weapon developers pitched a “gay bomb” to the United States military. It wasn’t a bomb which, according to mid-‘9 0s jargon, was “kinda lame.” It was supposed to turn its victims lesbian, the hypothesi owing to the fact that adversary soldiers’ new and instantaneous attraction to one another would supplant the importance of even the most heated battle. You know those homosexuals — when any two fulfill, at any time, under any circumstances, they instantly start humping, even if they’re currently being shot at.

BrokenSphere/ Wiki Commons “No, more phallic-looking.”

How ANY of this would have actually run remains an embarrassing whodunit on every scientific and moral degree. The title of the document put forward this “gay bomb, ” amongst other things? “Harassing, Annoying, and Bad Guy Identifying Chemicals.”

Forgive us but, uh, doesn’t science usually sound a bit more … scientific than that?

Michael B. Keller/ Department of Defense Considering other options presented included a chemical to induce “severe and lasting halitosis” and a bomb to “simulate flatulence in adversary ranks, ” we’re gonna say no.

The military would’ve been better off ordering a bunch of stink bombs .

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